I am spending my child support on dildos
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
