We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
