ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
this just has baby written all over it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
