i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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