how can u be prego again
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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