i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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