The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
