just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
