You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
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