So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize