I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
