need another drink. this is the easiest way
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize