So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
