i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
if only i could text you this smell
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
