Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He felt like a one man threesome
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize