i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
