I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
babies were throwing up all over the place
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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