the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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