From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize