I got her a Nickelback box set.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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