I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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