So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
