so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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