um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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