seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
How's work?
Spinning.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
