Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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