I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
