I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Randomize
