I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
