they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My life is pants optional.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
