All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
