I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
