now i know why i became what i already was.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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