let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize