then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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