You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
