So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
God I need to hump something, right now.
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