the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
