What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
