3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
These tits shall not be calmed
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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