i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
