By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
