I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
