I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
