I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
