I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
