Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
