I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They took my balls.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
