I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize