My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
