He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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