i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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