my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize