he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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