he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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