why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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