My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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