We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
