he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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